Saturday, January 23, 2010
"and the dreams that you dare to...why, oh why, can't I?"
I love this song. It makes you feel, if only for a few minutes, that everything is right in the world. Thanks so much, everyone. Great comments, e-mails and advice.
If I go on date or not, I just don't know. N. has been away for a while and really I just want to see him. I'll take it from there.
Today I am celebrating. That I'm approved for an unemployment benefit extension! With the benefits coming in, I was living on about 12 bucks a day after rent all year (no joke). Since losing them, I haven't even the money to pay rent.
A prayer answered for many.
So still no sign of a job. The bank acccount is dwindling. But I choose to focus on the wonderful new people who have come into my life this past year, including the friends on here, my family and how much I love living in the city.
I always thought I only needed myself to get by. What I've learned this past year is we absolutely need others. They help get us through.
And I think that maybe nothing lasts forever but even if what I have found with N lasts only another month, I got my wish. If it ends tomorrow, I'll always look back on the time so fondly.
I read back to a journal entry I wrote soon after meeting him this summer- I wrote that how out of the blue a pigeon flew through my window and led me to the nicest guy I have ever had a date with. I didn't think there was any cooler way to meet after all the disastrous attempts I made at dating.
I looked back to the photo of that rainbow I took the day he asked me to go away for Fourth of July. A rainbow over the city that has been so cruel in so many ways during my lifetime but at the same time, a city that brings amazing things.
Like the song says - the dream that I dared to - why can't I meet a nice guy - really came true.
No, nothing lasts forever. But I sit here right now, I think "dreams really do come true...and I think to myself..what a wonderful world"...