Oops... I'm in trouble

Thanks to all for the wonderful comments..I will respond to each soon. Right now I'm in bad shape.

I realize my mind has been going backwards too much lately...Not good. I'm trying to stay busy with volunteering and events but nothing seems to be helping. I simply miss working and feel like an unproductive, lost, bored slog all day long.
I was going to tell another past story today. Definitely the worst experience of my life. But really don't want this to be the blog of doom and gloom. So perhaps in the near future.
Like a friend here said - secrets have power when kept to yourself, they lose that power over you when told...

Anyway, today I am determined to brush the past away and focus on the present. Which at the current moment isn't too pleasant as I am nursing a head injury. I still can't believe what I did as I sit here and look at the hundreds of pieces of shattered glass.
It seems everything is going wrong lately and I mean everything.
I'm starting to think I shouldn't leave my apartment and aspire to only being a couch potato. It's a hell of a lot easier that way and keeps me out of trouble.
But I'm so scared of becoming a couch potato that I keep myelf busy with crazy things, like cleaning compulsively.

So, N was generous and gave me the key to his apartment while he is away for the week...because my internet connection isn't working and my TV broke. (yeah, I said everything has been going wrong lately..The ceiling in my apartment started to fall off, the kitchen sink had a leak, the futon bed no longer becomes a sofa, and my alarm clock broke but hey, who needs it). So I decided to do some cleaning in N's apartment. Every bachelor pad I've ever seen could use a good cleaning. And his, unfortunately, is to the extreme.
Why not make myself productive during the workday? So I cleaned, scrubbed (and tried not to snoop) for 6 whole hours. Amazing the amount of cleaning a small studio takes!

So I come back to the apartment while on the phone. I notice none of the power is on. So I move his bookcase to check the plug. The phone conversation then goes dead as my poor friend on the other end hears what must have sounded like a thousand pounds of glass crashing down and my dropping the phone in shock.
Yes, the bookcase (f*ck Ikea!) collapsed entirely on my head and arm. I thought I was knocked unconscious at first but I quickly came through, saying to my friend, "that's it, N is so done with me after he finds this out".

Some apartment-sitter I am. I am still stunned as I sit here looking at everything in pieces on his floor. Do you remember that Brady Bunch episode from back when Cindy breaks the glass vase and they try to glue it all together but it ends up leaking water out of all ends? Well I'm sitting here with crazy glue trying to fix his mugs he brought back from Japan so he doesn't notice. They won't stay together though and if they do they will end up spurting out hot liquid from all ends!
Miraculously all the booze bottles survived the fall. That would have been ugly.
His shot glasses are all goners though. I'll just have to do shots straight from the bottle. My head pain needs it along with trying to figure out how I'm going to explain this to him. Really, it was an accident. Hopefully he is more concerned about the huge bump on my head (can I die from this??), and cuts on my finger and wrist.
Well, I guess this is the true test. Remember how I said I just want to make sure I find somebody who cares??? If he's pissed, I guess that's my answer.

I remember he told me the only sign he saw when the pigeon (the one who introduced us) flew through his window and around the apartment - it was that his model airplane was knocked down. Well, leave it to me to not only knock the plane down but to crash it into pieces. It survived the pigeon visit but not mine!

Lord help me, I need a job.